First and last ,

HOW I WISH I COULD JUST DROP DEAD RIGHT NOW.
Im having super suicidal feelings now.
& mixed emotions.
I really can't take it anymore.
Its like, i want him back to my side & yet i dont want to.
I really feel like slashing myself now.
But yet i dont want anyone to know that i've slashed.
Why don't i just disappear from th Earth's surface.
Change my name.
Change my identity.
Start a new life.
So no one will know me.
Start anew.
All those fake smiles.
Breaking down.
I need someone to talk to now.

Depressed.